Sitting in the back middle seat. I eat some of the Starbuck's "old fashioned donut", a cruler I believe you would call it. Passing the Ohio state line from Indiana. It's raining, overcast moody skies. And I feel really comforted by words from Patti Smith's memoire. And the voice from Hank's podcast breaking through "You captured what it was like to be young at that time." It means something to hear those words be said to anybody. Right now, ignoring youth for someone else at some other time, I feel that it's really hard to find a direction. Especially when the world we live in is constantly trying to sell us things that will practically make decisions for us, and society these days condones that, believes in it. Separating us from each other, but I do not believe in it. I believe in this : turning in rental cars late, eating donuts, getting motion sickness, and watching Maddy pick away at her split ends. For moments like this I do not worry. I'm happy to be where I am, and doing what I'm doing, and I have faith in my ideas and feel supported by the universe. I feel right.
6pm - Chipotle with Maddy. First meal of the day, not counting donut. The burrito was actually breaking out of it's tortilla. So full, and I managed to eat all of it. Therapy and regression to more animalistic temperaments after being basically robbed at gunpoint for an additional 200 dollars of which still does not add up for being multiple hours late to return the fucking rental car. Charged a whole extra day.
9pm - Gunter cat groans and hisses at Maddy in her arms. Carmody plays on my stereo. I'm glad this pink long-sleeved undershirt of grandma Michiko still smells like moth balls. It reminds me of her. I tried to do my make-up when we came home, referencing the Misfits photo of Marilyn Monroe, postcards of Audrey Hepburn, pictures of Liv Tyler in "That Thing You Do". I've never from what I can remember applied make up in any practical measure. Always over the top in different colors and shapes and designs for silly occasions. I suppose I first experimented with black eye liner on my baby fat face back in junior high for Friday night casual canteens here and there. Was trying to see if I could make myself look pretty or something. Pretty like these women look pretty in their mod-ish eye make-up styles. But it looks too odd on me. Nothing I'm not used to.
Tomorrow, I'm trying to go up to 25th St, Thumper Vintage, see if her seamstress is working. Might be too fantastical but I wanted to maybe see if she would be willing to let me apprentice her or something, show her some of the jumpsuits I've made. I need to sit online and comb through some adds, maybe put out there that I'm looking for mural work, try and create some kind of online portfolio.
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