Thursday, January 10, 2013

January 31, 2012 Tuesday


So Maddy fought her way into getting to keep her bottle of lotion it would seem. It's 5am. I'm driving home from the airport 71 north. Listening to "Dancing In The Dark" Bruce Springsteen and thinking of car battles involving Leo and thinking about how rapidly things can go from one thing to another, and how I'm so thankful and relieved that I can still be left with some shred of myself in tact, with some people or memories to hold onto, to remind me. What I love. People I've fallen in love with, some friends you can still walk to Steve's Lunch with. Man, well I know it's been Maddy for the longest I can remember of everyone. And since high school it's been Leo and Karl in and out of our lives in the words of Richard Dreyfuss "Like bus boys in and out of a restaurant". I guess I want a paradise for all of us. Will the tragedy of it be getting lost up in some corner of pop culture that somebody creates? That would be something. All I know is that I feel lucky. I don't know what I'm doing with myself right now, I don't have a job because I don't want certain things so much. I don't have a sustainable amount of money without one. The boy I'm in love with is very far away and is beyond reach in too many ways, but I'm still me. I'm still thinking about it all. And I know that there is so much to do and get done, and so many people to love who are worth loving, and I'm not tired yet. I just have to take deep breaths in the morning and always keep listening and creating things others can listen to. I can do that.


6pm - Where is John Hurley? We're supposed to ride to Lorain Antiques! Formerly Suite Lorain, to meet Monique and probably see Karl who now works there.

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